***THIS IS SATIRE***
Los Angeles County Health Director and zombie commander Barbara Ferrer extended the lockdown in Southern California for months and introduced a new program “Train Your Brain”. According to Ferrer citizens need to keep their brains, “plump and juicy,” by doing mental exercises like crossword puzzles and sudoku.
“Isn’t it great to see the zombies looking out for the safety of the people of Los Angeles,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said while suppressing a hiccup. “I certainly could use to train my brain. Stay home, save lives.”
A viral post asking people to “Caption this:” received thousands of hilarious responses.
“God help us all if people listen to the zombies,” a man fleeing from California told us. “I mean it should be pretty obvious why they want us to train our brains and it’s not because they want us to be smarter. These zombies are hungry.”
The Los Angeles lockdown comes as an apparent alliance has been struck between the zombies, the obese, and the transgendered.
Once again for all the Karen’s and those who lack a sense of humor.